It was January and New Year’s resolutions and motivational quotes filled my Facebook feed.
So did the Run Like A Girl Adventure Camps…
If you’re a part of the Run Like A Girl Facebook page, I’m sure you’ve seen them too. They are Adventure and Yoga retreats that are hosted on their own private property in Costa Rica. Imagine sleeping in a bungalow, the sounds of the rain forest lulling you to sleep every night. You wake up each morning with a yoga class and spend your days hiking, climbing trees, repelling down waterfalls… sounds like a dream doesn’t it?
Run Like A Girl’s posts have haunted my news feed for years and this January was no different. I longed to go on this amazing adventure but I had four big reasons why I couldn’t do it.
- I didn’t have the time.
- I didn’t have the money.
- I didn’t have the child care.
- My anxiety is too bad.
But 2016 was to be my year of adventures, and so while I didn’t know how… or when, I knew that this had to be a part of my plan. After sitting down with my husband and talking about it we decided… I was going to GO!
I started crying. And not that cute moment where a tear rolls down your cheek. We’re talking big, ugly, crocodile tears. I couldn’t believe it. My husband wanted to support me and was going to take a week off work to be with the children. Problem number 1 and 3 immediately disappeared. My friends all said they’d support him too, if he needed help with drop off or weekend play dates.
Problem number two: we didn’t have the money. We analysed the payment plan and decided we could cut corners, and I could pick up some extra contracts and save up for this adventure. The reality is that this was a big enough priority in our family to make this happen and while at first it seemed like too much to chew off, the more we talked about it, the more we wrapped our head around it and it became more and more doable.
All of this happened to coincide with my Mom’s 60th birthday. So in a plea to make one of her dreams come true, I asked my Dad if he’d surprise her with the ultimate birthday present. And GUESS WHAT… he said YES! So not only was my dream of going on this adventure camp coming true, my MOM was coming with me!!!
The initial shock of the whole thing took a couple months to wear off and now that we’re only one month away from our big trip we find ourselves filled with a mix of excitement and nerves.
Here’s what I find myself worrying about:
Am I in good enough shape?
This summer I was diagnosed with asthma after spending months of trying to work out and struggling with every step. While I’m happy to finally have a diagnosis, I’m also in a physical state like I have never been (other then when I was pregnant). I’m about 10 pounds over the weight at which I feel comfortable and my physical strength and endurance… well, they SUCK. While I’m working out every day, I’m also finding that my body doesn’t bounce back like it did when I was 25… so it’s taking way more time and effort then I ever could have imagined.
And so I wonder… am I in good enough shape?
I’m going on an adventure retreat and I’m sure everyone else will be in better shape than me… These are all runners, some ultra-runners who run 35 km… FOR FUN! I’ve been known to enjoy a 10 km and even did a half once… but this is a whole new level of athleticism that I’ve never experienced.
I know that this is something my Mom is also worried about. She’s pretty sure she’ll be the oldest one in the group and she’s worried that she’s going to hold us back.
And after all of this worrying and stressing out we decided…
It doesn’t matter.
The worst thing that could happen is that we take the shorter route and find ourselves wandering through the jungles of Costa Rica a little slower. I guess that’s the challenge though that we face on a daily basis. Where the external pressure to be something that we’re not exceeds our ability to just “be” in the moment. So while this may not be the physical adventure I was anticipating when I signed up, I’m 100% okay and going to embrace every moment.
Worry Number Two: What if?
I’ve never left my kids for longer than 4 days, so leaving them for 9 brings me anxiety even as I write these words. 9 days. That’s a LONG time. And while I struggle with anxiety around this subject, I find myself fretting over, “What if my daughter has an allergic reaction? What if my son breaks a bone? What if their Dad doesn’t fill out the right form for school and they miss out on something? What if they need me and they can’t get hold of me? What if my anxiety is so bad while I’m gone that I can’t enjoy myself?
Seriously, I have anxiety about how bad my anxiety is going to be! So while this is an amazing experience, there are days where it scares the crap out of me and is really a stretch out of my comfort zone.
However, being pushed out of your comfort zone is something that’s really important to do. I often find that it’s in that space that you learn the most about yourself, as well as what your true capacity is. I’m also very blessed to have an amazing group of supporters that will be cheering me on and sharing in the excitement of this adventure, and so between knowing that this is an awesome opportunity and riding the momentum of that love, I’ll push my anxiety to the curb and embrace my Costa Rica Adventure!
Now you know my secret…
So now you know that I’m feeling nervous and have inhibitions about this amazing adventure… I recognize that this is totally a first-world problem and I’m not looking for a “poor me” as I share this with you. I do however want to acknowledge that I’m scared and that’s okay, and that getting outside of my comfort zone is not an easy thing to do, but I think it’ll be worthwhile!
I also want to thank my amazing friends and family have been so supportive, along with all of you amazing followers. Not only do I feel loved, but I also feel responsible to share this adventure with you. My only wish is that I could bring all of you along!
The Adventure Awaits… in COSTA RICA!
We invite you to learn more about me and my family by visiting our “About Us” Page.
What adventures have you been on? Have a suggestion for me? Read more about my solo adventures!